Miriam: Death of a Reality Star – how a cruel reality TV show manipulated and shamed its trans star

Six British lads, some of them more tolerable than others, had answered a newspaper ad to appear on a dating show in the sun. The mission, as it were, was relatively straightforward. The boys would fly to Ibiza where they would compete against one another for the affection of a 21-year-old Mexican model named Miriam Rivera.

The winner would join this “stunning babe” for another week-long holiday, this time on a private yacht — and they’d also receive £10,000 for their troubles. But there was a catch. Miriam was, in fact, a transgender woman, and the audience knew it from the outset. The boys didn’t, and it wasn’t until the closing episode that producers allowed Miriam to finally share her secret.

The way the finale shows it, the big reveal was surprisingly tame. Miriam told her admirers that she was “born as a man”, and her winning date — a flabbergasted lifeguard named Tom Rooke — seemed lost for words. The losing lads, however, giggled and made jokes in the background. Tom agreed to the holiday, and the tidy cash reward, and that was the end of that. Except it wasn’t. Reality television rarely tells the truth, and it was only after the cameras stopped rolling that everything went sideways.

One of the participants, a martial arts instructor named Scott Gibson, lost his temper and trashed the set. Some of the crew members began crying. Dr Smith says he feared for Remy Blumenfeld’s life, and so he advised the renowned television producer to make himself scarce. It had been a long time coming.

At the time, reality TV was fresh, exciting and almost entirely without limitations. Blumenfeld and his team at Brighter Pictures believed they were pushing boundaries, that their audiences were crying out for a show like There’s Something About Miriam. But they weren’t, and the series was crass, unethical and extraordinarily mismanaged. Whatever way you look at it, Blumenfeld had lied to the contestants; he manipulated the show’s star and had made a laughingstock out of the transgender community.

“The fact that Miriam had a penis,” says Dr Smith, interviewed on Channel 4’s three-part documentary series, Miriam: Death of a Reality Star, “seemed to be the punchline of the joke — that wasn’t a joke, because it was Miriam, and it was her life, and it was these boys who didn’t have the option to consent.”

‘The series was crass, unethical and extraordinarily mismanaged’

A messy aftermath ensued. Two of the contestants, Toby Green and Aron Lane, are interviewed here. Toby recalls a tumultuous filming experience; early on, he suspected the big ‘twist’ and he believes the producers went out of their way to subsequently remove him from the series. Afterwards, the contestants filed a group lawsuit to prevent the show from airing. In the end, the case was settled out of court.

It’s easy to point the finger at the boys, but it’s also worth remembering that they had no idea what they were signing up for. Dr Smith also reminds us that he was flown to Ibiza to talk to Toby and the lads, and to help answer whatever questions they might have after the show wrapped. But what about Miriam? She had nobody to talk to.

As the title suggests, Death of a Reality Star does not have a happy ending. Miriam died by suicide in 2019, and this well-intentioned series revisits her upbringing, her dreams and aspirations, and of course, the toll that Sky’s astonishingly misguided reality show had on her well-being.

Some say Miriam knew what she was getting into, that she was clever and that the producers never lied to her. It’s a simplified outlook. The people in power played a familiar game — they took full advantage of a young model who came to the UK hoping to find success, and they stripped her of her dignity.

Miriam: Death of a Reality Star is a peculiar series, marred by the usual format flaws (too long, too repetitive, a tad shapeless). But it’s an important watch and, after 20 years, it treats its subject with the respect she’s always deserved. It’s a shame Miriam isn’t around to see it.

Miriam: Death of a Reality Star continues Tuesday April 30 at 9pm and Wednesday May 1 at 10pm on Channel 4

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