Édaein O’Connell: On your marks, for the great summer wedding relay race

Irish people love nothing more than a party that celebrates love or celebrates death. Photo: Getty

Édaein O’Connell

People of Ireland, on your marks. Gird your loins. Put some money into an offshore account. Get the number of a girl who is handy with a spray tan and put her on speed dial. Shave your legs, wax your eyebrows. Buy some blister patches, a packet of Nurofen and fresh underwear. Sleep when and wherever you can because you can wave goodbye to your heavenly eight hours. Start running laps for endurance and microdosing on cheap Prosecco and canapes. And tell your children you love them, because you won’t see them for the summer.

Our gallant Irish mixed team won bronze at the World Athletics Relays in the Bahamas at the weekend and we couldn’t be prouder. Many of us on this island will be running our own relay races over the next few months.